and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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