you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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