Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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