I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
