SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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