just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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