but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
