No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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