Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
