I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
being pregnant is like rehab
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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