Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
