I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize