WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize