I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize