You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
