Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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