What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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