just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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