discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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