The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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