he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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