Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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