NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
