bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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