everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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