If i come over, it means nothing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
