just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
