my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
