I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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