I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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