Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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