umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
