FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
