careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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