Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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