Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
