No awkward lesbian experiences without me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
