First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
