when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
