Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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