It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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