Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
