summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
