dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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