I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
