She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
