so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
