I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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