Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
