I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
