Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
