Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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