he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
