i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
