I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
