mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
