id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
