Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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