very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's like heaven, but drunker
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize