i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
