So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
